I'm there, wherever that is, it's not here, and that is where I want to stay. Don't bother me unless it's an emergency. I don't want to be woken up or brought back into this reality for awhile. Most likely if there is something up, I won't be told anyway and I don't care anymore. Leave me be. I'm going to be there as long as humanly possible. Regardless, whether I'm there or not, I'll be somewhere else. I'm leaving reality and living there for now. Dropping it and I don't care if it's the right thing to do. I'll see you later. Ciao.

---

     Just listening to this one guy's CD, Laine. Yay, someone I know who's in a band, that's NOT a garage band.... sweet. His CD is called "My Catharsis" Not exactly sure what it means but, it's still a good CD. He has about the same taste in music as me, but a little bit more diversified within the later 80's and 90's.

Music - "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zepplin

---

     On Holloween, this one other tutor, Matt, he came in and showed off his costume. I'm going to try and get a picture of it if I can today. He dressed up as the Burger King-King. Complete with mask (only thing he bought), crown, tights, kilt/skirt thingy, cape, gold chains, silver platter and sandwich. He spent a week making it, pretty much completely from scratch.
     I stayed after to tutor some more people, just for fun, didn't feel like going home. Eventually, I had to go home because I was starving. So I ate, and then I wanted to go outside since it was unbelieveably warm outside compared to the rest of the week. And yes, lucky me, it rained too, and I love rain! So, I went over Adam's and convinced him to go outside. Well, it took just a little convincing really. We walked around his backyard for a bit, it seemed way smaller than I remembered. Loser doesn't remember who Diana is.... and her racist comments against Chris... bum. Then we took a stroll through the rain to BlueDragon (no reason why there, good as place as any). Then back up though his old elementary school, and back to his house. Holloween ended up being better than I was expected. Especially since I was in a really crappy mood and I meant to keep it though the holiday :-). Oh well...

Music - "Poison" by Alice Cooper
            "Seperate Ways (Worlds Apart)" by Journey
            "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake
P.S. - HTML is really pissing me off... (Fixed it, Hate the <P> tag, Love the <DIV> tag)

---

     Yippy! Two things I never thought would happen, in 1 day! My first panic attack, and one other thing....
     I now know why things were the way they were. Just needed to experience it to understand why. It's so obvious to see now. I feel almost stupid for getting all worked up by it. It's disturbing how something like that can change how you feel so dramaticly in such a short amount of time. Ciao.

     Beautiful weather tonight. I even almost got caught up in a tornado. A bit more than I hoped for, a good suprise as of recently. It certainly did me well. I feel a bit like I did a loong time ago. I'm writing like it at least. I finally see some similarities with this and how I wrote then. Maybe it's because I can read it a bit more clearly now, I'm not sure.

Music - "The Boys of Summer" by Don Henley

---

     I just keep on spiraling down the same black hole over and over.

Max Payne - "The genius of the hole: no matter how much time you spend climbing out, you can still fall back down in an instant"

Music - "Hotel California" by The Eagles

---

     From what I've seen is that the McDonalds products cause people to grow asses 2-4 times the width of their bodies. Thanks to all of those growth hormones, antibiotics and chemicals they put into their meat, it's making people's asses grow to 4 times their normal size. Nearly every single employee there, even if they weren't fat, had the ass of horse. Once you start looking like a human pyramid alone when you sit down, it's time to put down the Mc-burger...

---

Movies of the Moment - "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," "Serendipity" and "What Dreams May Come"

     How did it happen that I would somehow watch all three of these movies on the same day?! And on top of that I just had to go to church... Of all days, Sunday, and I just haaad to go... Well thanks to Mico, I got to watch "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" I just couldn't pass up a chance to watch it. I haven't seen it in such a long time and it just put such a smile on my face. Every few minutes I was either laughing or smiling or something and it felt so nice. I know, I know, "Gee, smiling!? How could that ever feel good???" Whatever, Piss off. Still, it's a good movie to think about and that's where I am now.

Music - "Hotel California" by The Eagles

---

Happiness? Part 1

     Great day today, really great! The non-sacrcastic, non-fucking around 'great'! Tonight I think I'll go back to my: 'extremely long and descriptive version' of posting. *Ahem* ...
     Well, I woke up around 8am today, but as usual I felt like laying in bed for "just a few minutes" I succeeded for a little bit, till I passed out and fell asleep again. Then I woke up and checked my watch to see if I was late yet... Nope, still had 10 minutes till I should be in my car, driving like a maniac, trying to get to school on time, think I'll rest my eyes a bit more, ahhhh... So, I woke up a few minutes later and jumped into the shower. I checked my watch and saw that during my semi-unconcious state earlier I was still an hour early for being late. So I took my time and showered for an hour like usual.
     See, last night I was out till around midnight, doing chemistry homework with this one lady. After they kicked us out of Macomb that is for being there for too long (damn SoB's). We then went to Kinko's and finished our work there. It was somewhere on Gratiot and 12ish... See, I'm saying 12ish, because "supposely" it's supposed to be an easy drive there and back... Well, after I left, I tried to follow the lady's "simple" directions on how to get home, and ended up being lost for about an hour. I drove down what seemed like perfectly good roads that turned to crap around 16 mile... I'll post a picture with my driving route soon...

---

     A really, really nice day. It was as simple as it could get. Just me and my mom, and I was just reminded, an annoying cat too.. But, another day that proves nice guys finish last, nothing ever changes.

---

     For the longest time it stopped. So suprised when I noticed it, really weird feeling. Just the realization of it being gone was phenominal. But today it started again. Not sure why it stopped exactly. Was it stress, sleeping habits, food, what? Just another mystery that I get to ponder on...

---

     And those that do claim to check up on this say that I don't write in it. Must be too difficult to scroll down a bit I guess. Yeah, sure... Just too much effort to try at all for them in all honesty. I wish I could expect more out of some people. Now I can say what I want here. No one reads it, so I feel some more freedom here. I can ramble on as much as I want. And most of all, I can be as vaugue or specific as I want, and I don't give a rat's ass what someone would think. Yes, especially that. Just a bit more emotional freedom.
      I just hate it how one person can always get under my skin. How she can so easily do that. Really fucking annoying. Easiest thing would always be to remove her from your heart and mind. Just: "looking for my own fucking piece of mind" Funny, I heard that from 3 different sources this week, all at about the same time; from a book, a movie, and a person. Fuck the emotions. People always want easy solutions. I know, I know what I'm saying, more often than not, I do. I always thought, and still do to nearly every extent (except for this one it seems), that, given enough time and thought, you can overcome anything. That's how I've always been. Everything from tests to real life. On almost every math and science test I can remember now, I never really knew the material before the test, but when the test came, I just figured it out. It was always: if this one is True, which I know it is, then given this-this-and-this, this will be true too. Everything is connected, one way or another. Given enough thought, common sence and logic, you should be able to figure anything out. (This is all a repeat of another entry (I know), just wanted to whine/rant/whatever-the-hell-this-is, again). Yes, I know I am posting this for all to see. Of course, and I know, most likely, I, for some reason, want people to see this... no shit. That's why people post blogs. People (including me), do it whether they realize it or not. Even if they say, as Joan often does, that they don't want any compassion, pity, concern, or whatever from others. Humans are built that way... unfortunately. As much as I want, and ohhhhh I do, to bury, or kill, or remove, whatever bothers me, feeling are a bitch to do that to. Whenever I had someone or something bothering me, I did whatever I had to, to make them stop bothering me. Either told them, ignored them, or whatever. Same with things and situations. I always told people, if it bothers you, do something about it. Well, I've been doing shit to this over and over and nothing's been working. No info online, from people, or books help. Well, I'll only tell it to someone if I really trust them, but not everyone is um.. "qualified" for every situation, especially this one. The only person I've ever been able to talk to like that would be Joan, but it's sorta impossible to talk to her at this point, about this to her, not to mention she's the "root" of the problem, and a few other things too... I'm seeing double, I really need some sleep.
     Man, I almost feel like saying I want to be back at school again.
     God, I hope Mazzie doesn't call me at 10am in the morning like he was planning!!! 4 hours left if I want to sleep. I haven't wasted a night like this for awhile. Downloaded masses of AMV's, rated a few; and wrote some shit both in here and not, now that's the life... I think I should burn them onto a CD, Heh... If anyone would like a copy just IM me... Ha! New meaning to "goes on deaf ears"

Music - "Summer of '69"; "Spirit Never Dies"; "1985"

---

     I can't stop them, I can't control them, I can't even understand them! Even now, between the moments of hate, I miss her. I'm going nuts! I can't stand her, and then I miss her, WTF?! You know, I've always been saying that if I was a smoker, this would be a perfect time for a cigarette. I think I'm going to start. Mazzie said it calmed him down so why not. Since I can remember, I never wanted to or liked to smoke, drink or do ("stupid") shit of that nature...
     Now, I really couldn't give a fuck. All of those are stupid crutches, and I couldn't care less. Fuck, let's pack in some pills and whores too. You live only once. I figure, I'll sin my way through the next few years and then repent a few years before I die, that should even everything out. Hell, all society cares about is your fucking grades and job at this point. As long as I'm getting good grades, let me smoke till I have a fucking hole in my neck. Let's just fuck and screw to our heart's delight. No one cares what kind of person you are. Get good grades and just screw everyone over, in one way or another, doesn't matter.
     ...but now, I noticed I stopped caring about that once I got it through my head that I can't be with Joan (now wasn't the cheezy and pathetic sounding?). Just doesn't seem to be a point. No one else to do it for, and certianly no reason to do it for myself. Of course I can always force myself to be whatever I want to be, but I don't want to, don't care at all. Not depressed about it, fuck, I'll be sinning to my heart's content. Sins always feel good. Let's just see if I'll be able to sleep calmly then.
     I don't feel like myself anymore. (Isn't it a little bit early for a mid-life crisis?)
     I just can't stand her sometimes. Some of the things she does just... arg!
     "Except when I go to bed at night. I have these stupid fantasies of us talking and sharing everything I wanted with her. When in reality, after many attempts, it always seems so futile. I have to stop living in the past. All of these perfect memories are now just things that end up keeping me awake at night. Everything is different now and that's a fact. I'm different, she's different, the times are different, everything. I know I said all of this before, a bit of déjà vu, but for some reason I can't get it through my head."

---

Stuck in Limbo yet Again

     I left about an hour and a half ago. I was walking but going nowhere. I finally sat down somewhere in Clinton Towship. There was a little platform that protruded from the path overlooking the river. It had an elliptical seat in the center where a dozen or so people could sit. It was covered in snow and some people, made a few nice pictures on it; smily faces, hearts and other loving symbols. Ended up staring at it for awhile. Seemed like a shame to mess it up. It'll melt away when the sun'll come out or when someone wanted to sit down, but for now I wanted it to stay. So I laid down on the ground instead and tried to think. Just tried to shake the feeling. So lost in what to do. Nothing's worked. Two decisions keep on flashing in my head. Everyday the same shit pops up, just as before. Two ways to go, but neither seems right. I can't decide. Two opposite extremes, two eventual dead ends.
     I just stared at the sky. Just trying to get a moment to relax. Physically relax, mentally relax, emotionally relax, anyone of those would have been a pleasant suprise at that moment. No amount of walking, running, reading, sleeping (especially sleeping), or anything else that you would think should give a little bit of rest was helping. Like a stench you can't get away from; it just keeps on following you. It just slowly get's absorbed into your body. You get used to it. Dulls some sences and you get used to it.
     I felt like calling her and not calling her. Good that I had at least some rational thought in me at the moment or else I would have chucked that phone as hard as I could into that river.
     And now again, I'm home and I feel the life being sapped from my body. I look at AIM and I wish I could disappear. Just delete Joan from the list again. God dammit, feels like one huge fucking run around. Everything is repeating itself.

     I feel like something's choking me from the inside. Not letting me express myself, not letting me think. Always stopping me right before it seems like I'm onto something. I don't seem comfortable in my own skin. I am not myself. I speak not my own voice. It's like I'm stuck right under my skin. Just a millimeter or so under, but it feels so confining. Not the physical feeling of it but more of the mental. All of my creativity is gone. When I try to write something down I can never find the right words. Words that I've used hundreds of times before, now I can't remember. I sound like a 4 year old when I'm reading this or listening to myself talk. I lost some higher thinking fuctions of my brain. And that's just the day.

---

     Last night was really, really, really bad and really, really, really creepy.
Really³ (Bad + Creepy) = Last Night
     My words don't have anymore creativity. I can't express myself at all with them anymore. It feels like my soul is trying to say somethng and it has to go through six or seven layers. When it finally reaches my heart it gets lost in the confusion. Whatever gets to the brain maybe has some or the original feeling/meaning to it, but nearly all of the context has been lost. Oh! And then IF it has to pass through my lips, it's just gargled words then. Reminds me of this one game I played a few times at scouts. We all sat in a circle and the druch (leader-dude-guy) whispered a sentance to one of the scouts and it had to go through everyone. Everyone had to quietly whisper it to the next person and it couldn't be repeated. Each one hears it, and passes it along to the next, never repeating it exactly how he heard it. Until it finally reaches back to where it started and it became some absurd sentance. Yeah, it's alot like that.
So it goes...

---

     Well, luckily it passed a little. It's a bit more subtle now. I can speak for myself a little bit more. Maybe it wasn't even completely that my words were being twisted, maybe it was something like I was "too hard on myself" I probably sounded like I always did, it just didn't sound like it to me. Like I was overcritical of myself or something. Yeah... it still seems like I have a tiny vocabulary right now, but at least it doesn't feel like I'm being choked from the inside-out anymore. Now if I could... hmmm, no I shouldn't go there. Humans always want more, and I've done more than my share of whining recently over some little discomforts. Time to try and fall asleep.

---

     Oh boy, Day and Night. Two sides of a coin. Both have their own problems, but it's a whole at the same time. (I hate my analogies, still don't sound like myself)

Absorbed
     It feels like my new self is absorbing pieces of my old one. Parts have been supressed for so long now they're hard to remember. Like an old friend you haven't seen for a long time. You start forgetting facail features, hair color, etc., but you always remember how they were, their personality. But some things that I've refused to not forget have been warped into the new personality. Losing myself. Losing the way I want to be. Especially today, I felt so weird. So... not myself. I knew I wasn't myself and I tried as much as I could to shut up. So regretful of my actions from moment to moment. Nothing I did seemed right. So... wrong, just WRONG! I just wanted to stop everything and scream. "Stop! No, it's not supposed to be like this!" Like a dream. One of those dreams that it looks like reality, but there's something wrong. Something you can't put your finger on, but you know it's there. What's in front of your eyes looks real, but around the peripherals, the peripherals of your mind, items look distorted. Except this time it wasn't the items, it was me. Maybe, more of a dream that you can see your body but can't control it. No. Just nothing that I tried to do or say came out how I meant them to. No, that's not it either. They did, and that's the problem. I just wasn't myself. And I really wanted to be for once. No...
I was myself, but I didn't want to be. Not the self that I am now.

     It was sorta my last hope that she would bring out the old me again. Instead I was worse than ever.

Claudel and Rodin at the DIA

---

     I'm not happy. I'm not depressed. I'm just busy. Don't have time to think. Don't have time to feel. Don't have time to act. Probably wouldn't be able to if I had a chance anyway. It took me a week of pondering and 2 days of putting it together to finally be able to post this. Damn is that bad. I can't pick out a single thing from the last few weeks. I just know I went to school and work. Days just pass one by one. "Like sand in a hourglass," to paraphrase a movie or someone. Even today I know I will forget soon, very soon, too soon. Just living from moment to moment I guess. Best idea I have right now on how to explain it. It's like just last year memories, days and times were a bit more sacred, something worth holding onto, remembering. Now,.... I don't know. Can't even think about it. Still can't wrap my head around anything as simple as that anymore. Unless it's something that I can just regurgitate from a book, or it's got some numbers in it, or... I don't know. Heh. Well, here's a story problem then: Tom, with mass of 63.5 kg, runs at a rate of 2.5 m/s into a wall over and over for wasting a year (365.25 days) trying to get over someone without any progress. How long (in days) till he scrambles his head into a million pieces? See, now THAT I can solve.

     (to be continued, had something to write about 'friends' or some B.S. like that)

Music - "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd

---

     Finished "Blood: The Novel" last night, or rather this morning... Whatever, they're same thing as of recently. Just thought it was worth making a note of. Good book, think I'll read it again, since there's nothing better to do.
     Also saw "V for Vendeta" Just another thing worth noting.
     That's it, nothing else worth noting. Why? Nothing to write, because I've nothing to say. Why? Nothing to say because nothing's been felt. Why? Nothing's been felt, because... I don't know. Because, nothing's been felt! The end! Socratic questioning: used on myself. Proof, no one know's anything, about anything!

---

A day I need to note, but don't want to remember.
I should have stayed home and listened to music.
People are so dense, I'm no better. I need new friends.
...so stupid, ...so disgusted. Knew what to do but didn't.
Is it wrong that I don't want to? So is it bad that I did?
Whenever you look around, it looks as if humans end up having the same unsavory result. Everyone grows up into the same horrid characters. Are we really better off than when we first started?
We tend to live in a sort of chaos theory, never knowing what the next day will bring, or who's path we may cross. But it seems so familiar at the same time. Almost predictable.
I feel like throwing up. A bit sick.
Mind if I go?

Music I should haved listened to: "Jack and Diane" by John 'Cougar' Mellencamp

---

     I had a weird dream last night. Instead of it being just a set of random thoughts strung together by an image or two, it had a plot for once and felt like I had some control over it. It started with me walking through my old high school. I had my hands folded behind my back and I was browsing through all of the graduating pictures that are hung by the main office. I looked older than I really was, maybe around twenty-seven, twenty-eight. I finally got to my graduating year and I starting looking for some old friends when a kid came up to me and started asking questions. He was way too young to go to Stevenson, but I thought that maybe he just seemed that way because I was so old. "Where are you up there?" he asked. "I'm not" I answered. "I'm just a ghost here" I kept on looking and I drowned out his next few questions. I remember replying, but no idea to what. I kept on going and finally got to the 2005-06 graduating year. I stared at it for awhile, lost in thought and memories and I'm not sure if I found what I was looking for or not. Then, I heard him ask me, "Tomek, what are you looking for?" I finally said "One good thing did come out of me staying here. I fell in love here" "How do you know it was love?" he asked. Then it finally came to me who the kid was. It was Kevin, and I remember him asking me the same thing a few weeks ago. "I guess I don't. I just know I still haven't stopped thinking about her" I don't know. I guess no one can till the day they die. Only then can you determine which were the best and the worst days.

Not many things compare to walking at night with a full moon in view and feeling the sharp, cold prickle of wet grass on your naked feet.
This'll never be finished. At the least, till the day I die.

     Finally feeling a littl bit better! Music of the moment: "Just What I Needed" by The Cars (Sorta overdone song, you've heard it probably fifty times already. Unfortunately they always play the "catchy" part at the end of the song, while I prefer the begining and have the end being that final touch in making it a good song), "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler (Hooked on this song, good voice, great lyrics, very good beat and it fits a lot of my mood) and "Shock to the System" by YES (Lyrics for YES are on the left by the way). Been listening to it for about a week now! Off to Work!
Hell, I'll even Post the lyrics!

Turn around,
Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round
Turn around,
Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
Turn around,
Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by
Turn around,
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes
Turn around bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart
Turn around bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart

Turn around,
Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild
Turn around,
Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms
Turn around,
Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry
Turn around,
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes
Turn around bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart
Turn around bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together we can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (All of the time...)
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart

Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

Turn around bright eyes
Turn around bright eyes
Turn around,
Every now and then I know you'll never be the boy you always wanted to be
Turn around,
Every now then I know you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am
Turn around,
Every now and then I know there's no one in the universe as magical and wonderous as you
Turn around,
Every now and then I know there's nothing any better
There's nothing that I just wouldn't do
Turn around bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart
Turn around bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together we can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (All of the time...)
I don't know what to do, I'm always in the dark!
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks!
I really need you tonight!!
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
Nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart

Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
A total eclipse of the heart
A total eclipse of the heart

Turn around bright eyes
Turn around bright eyes
Turn around...
Ooooooohhhhh..
Ahhhahhhhhahhh..
Ahhahhahahahahhahaahaaaaaaa...

      Today was a great day, especially compared to the rest of them. By the end of it I was dancing in the rain! Yes, lots and lots of rain! First of all, I got a full night of sleep for once. Second, I got out of grandma's little, teeny-tiny apartment for more than an hour; way more than an hour! I was woken up around 9 o'clock. We ate and did the usual daily routine, and then we went to pick up one of my grandmother's cousins. We took a single bus there (they're being slightly easier for me to use) and walked the rest of the way. When we got there, grandma went inside to get her cousin and I wandered around a bit outside, and took a picture of a wall with some bullet holes and war damage[1]. Grandmother came out eventually and she dragged (pretty much literally) her cousin's grandson out. His name was Rafal (Raphael). She uh, "convinced" him to show me around Stare Miasto (Old Town). I bugged her pretty much every day since I got here (nearly 2 weeks now) to go and see it, or anything for that matter. So, to make me happy, she did this... what an angel. I mean, it wasn't too difficult; Rafal was grounded for the last few days for vagary (truancy) and now he had a reason to go out and do something.
      So, we took the tram to Stare Miasto[1]. We talked a bit on the way, mainly the same questions everyone asks me. I pretty much memorized them all and just lead into the next question without him having the ask. I find it really keeps things moving and keeps me from being bored. We got there and he took me to Kolumna Zygmunta[1, 2, 3] (Zygmunta's Column/Statue) which is one of the most prominent sites in Warszawa (Warsaw) and it's in the freaking entrance to Stare Miasto[1], well, more spacificly in the center of Plac Zamkowy[1] (Castle Square), so it really wasn't out of the way of... anything. Then he took me on a pretty short trip though the city, just showed me a little bit NorthEast of the Square and a nice view of the Wisla River. He did know fairly alot about the city; dates, events and whatnots (none of which I remember now). After that we went back to Nowa Praga (New Praga) to show me an internet café that was in Plac Hallera (Hallera Square), which is close to my house. When we got there the damn place was closed!! Well, at least I know where it is, now I might be able to sneak away and post some of this (evidently that was so). Anyway, we went back to my grandma's and just did... um, wait, let me think... oh, now I remember!... nothing! People talked, I the same questions again(!!), grandma made me perform tricks in the form of making a few Origami flowers. OH! Look at what amazing things I can make out of paper!!! Oooohhh, ahhh...!!!! Rafal left, and I was sent to my grandma's room to read or whatnot. I listened to some music and read for a bit, then I got a call from Pralinka (or Paulinka to the rest of you)!!
      She introduced herself and asked if and when we could do something, if today would be good. I said today would be perfect! She told me to meet her at the station that's on Plac Hallera. Luckily that's exactly where Rafal took me to show me the internet café. She told me she would be wearing a greenish dress, orange bracelet, and some other stuff (missed most of it), and I said I'll have on a huge, bright blue bookbag (fairly easy to spot). So, in about an hour she'll be there.
      Well, 45 minutes later (after I ate) I left, headphones in, for the place. I walked around a bit, made sure I was in the right spot and waited. Checked around, walked a little bit more to see if I could find her, nothing. Well, after 30 minutes of that I just sat down, listened to music and read a book. I just thought logically; If she was late, then I should wait; I am on the right street, if she looks for me it's better if I stay put, so I'll stay; if she left already, I am outside, relaxing, enjoying the scenery, and something other than sitting in an teeny-tiny apartment room... I'm staying! It ended up being the second one: while I was reading and listening to music a short girl[1] came up to me and asked, "Tomek?" Well, that was it. She wore a medium length, green dress that was thrown over her shirt (and whatever else), white shirt underneath, sandals, orange bracelet and sunglasses. She was much shorter than I expected. I little bit shorter than Adam Height!
      Well, I found out that there ended up being 2 stations at Plac Hallera; one for buses (which I was at) the other for trams (which I was supposed to be at). Yeah... after she waited for 15 minutes she saw someone with a bookbag and started seriously stalking him, "creepy stalking" from what she told me. For about 2 blocks she followed him till he got on a tram. So she went back, waited and then started looking for me.
      So, we said hello and headed for the tram. We then headed towards Stare Miasto, along the way we stopped by this one church, but it was closed :-(. I was pretty quiet for most fo the time (which is usual for me when I meet people the first few times). She was a very nice and simpathique(Fr.) person. Most of the time she asked me if whether I wanted to go here or there. My answer was usually: "Whatever you want, you're in charge" I was incline to see something though. If she asked me if I wanted to do or see something, I would always be very willing. We walked around a bit in Stare Miasto. We went inside some building and they has some paintings and pictures of scenographia. We then went to the main bazaar[1] in Stare Miasto and there were alot of people with their paintings set out for people to buy. I thought some of them were nice but she said even she could do better... Conversation sorta ended there. She's studying art and she paints REALLY well. After that we went to this one University to try and get a library card for me. We first went to the campus from Stare Miasto and on the way there she wished me Happy Birthday and said she was sorry that she didn't have a present for me. I, with the same enthusiasm, said it's not my birthday and that she had nothing to worry about. So she felt stupid and I was happy (not that she felt stupid, but that it was a good laugh).
      We went first on top of the Library. It was so damn beautiful there. The entire roof had flowers and grass and a view to kill for. They had a wire dome and archways set up with vines almost completely covered them. They really took alot of effort to make it look good up there. We then went inside the library and I got a library card with fairly little trouble. Then she tried to show me how to look up shit on the computers and how to take out books. It really didn't go well for her. She tried to find the book code-number-thingy and couldn't. We walked around the library a bit and eventually figured it out.
      Well, once we got everything cleared up, we went around the building, looked for a climbing wall (ended being closed for the month) and then left. I asked if she did any extracurricular activities or anything. We started walking towards Stare Miasto again and it started raining! Just a small drizzle, but anything is better than nothing. We talked on the way, about my Zero extracurricular activities, about other stuff, unfortunately... I don't remember any of it. We then went on the street Nowy Swiat (New World) and walked around a little. She was really thinking of what else she could show me so I wasn't bored (Which I wasn't!!!). So I opened up my tiny tourist handbook and randomly picked a sight to see.
      We then went to Lazienki Krolewskie[L] (I prefer not to literally translate that, Polish people know why. So, I'll just call it what the tiny tourist book calls it: The Royal Park Lazienki). It is so damn pretty there, not beautiful, but very nice. For those who don't know what Lazienki are are, I'll explain. First of all, plainly to put it, it is a huge kept forest with a lake in it. In the center of the lake there is a Palace with marble statues and monuments placed around the Palace and throughout the Park. The Palac na Wyspie[1] (Palace on the Island) was built first and then various other monuments and Palaces were later added to the park including Bialy Dom (White House), an amphitheater, Pomnik Jana III Sobieskiego, Pomnik Fryderyka Chopina, and others. Inside of the Palaces there are works of art and some great, overdone architecture. And on Sunday's they have an outdoor concert of Chopin by his monument. Also on every Saturday and Sunday they have a play in the amphitheater. It's really nice there; well, I enjoyed it at least :-). There is some wildlife running around, most well known are the peacocks. They're everywhere and they like putting up shows for people[1]. People always try to make them show off their feathers, I personally think they look the best when they're sitting in a tree, on a branch, and they let their long tail feathers just hang down.
      We walked around a bit there, I snapped a picture of a peacock and we went to the amphitheater[1, 2]. She kept on asking what I wanted to see, or at least, pondered that to herself a few times out loud. She is too damn goal oriented. I got up, picked a direction and started walking. By then it started raining a bit more. God I love it when it rains! It was really nice there; I was in a good mood, partially because of the weather and scenery, partially because of the company, the rest to just be out and having a good day. We kept on going till we got to another park.
      It was called Grohuwka. There, there was yet another Palace, this time on a hill. There were two sets of stairs leading to it. So we started climbing. She saw if we could see her apartment from there, no unfortunately, and then we got to the Place. Some people were setting up decorations for some sort of party. It started to rain way harder.

So, now, Adam you wanted me to post shit for you to do so you're not so bored if I think of anything. Well, here you go:

Goto the DIA or the DIA film theater.
Goto for a walk in a Park, preferable Stony Creek. It's way nicer than Dodge Park, with nearly half of the trees there dieing of unknown causes...

     Sorry, but I'm in a bad mood and I'm really easily ticked off right now.... I burned down the "happy place" that I used to go to, to relax. Well curently, I can't believe how much stupid shit is on American TV. Americans just are so fucked up sometimes. I mean, I know, but I'm so tired at some of the shit that's on TV. Even the news. I mean, WTF? You'll get an hour on some stupid shit that no one really cares about, but you won't hear a single fucking word about the actual world. Everyone is just confined in their little world where America is the center of the universe. Everything they need to know, will be on "The Local News" The only things worth watching now are either on the Canadian Channel or Detroit Public TV. Once in while you get something good on the "D-Day Channel" (History), which is the same fucking shows over and over telling you exactly what the one before it said; Discovery Channel where you can learn what is curently, previously, and in the future the highest/longest skyscraper, bridge, roller coaster or ship! I love discovering shit that was MADE! Yes, I know they sometimes actually have one of their old animal shows, but those are few and far between now. AMC and TCM are sometimes bearable to watch, unless they show ConAir or some shit like that. There was one good thing on The Daily Show today (other than Colin Powell) He was expaining why, possibly why, GM cars weren't doing so well while imports were. He pointed out how over the last 10 years Japan used it's technology to improve their cars by making Hybrids and better safty equipment, while GM used the better part of the last 10 years figuring out how to put a TV in the headrest in the passengers seat. I rest my case, good night! Ciao.

Spy Hard